The Fae Lord's Lady Read online

  So she and Lorh had made a life here in the country, and Lorh really hadn’t noticed the difference, or so he said. Either way, he was a lord and, as such, would always have duties to occupy his time and mind.

  She gripped the back of a chair. Staying mad at him was hard when memories such as these came to the forefront. His actions had been that of a man who’d made many compromises, all for the love of a woman.

  A wretched feeling, sour and bitter tasting, settled in her mouth and stomach. She could really vomit. Covering her mouth, she gagged. Only the imminent embarrassment of doing something so disgusting in front of him halted her, barely.

  The sound must’ve reached Lorh, because he galvanized into action. After sprinting across the room, he swept her into his arms, carrying her out through a French door and onto a veranda. Her eyes watered, and she breathed in deeply as the warm spring air hit her. To her surprise, he didn’t deposit her in a chair but instead sat down, holding her in his lap.

  He tilted her face up to his. "I’m not asking for you to make your choice today. But we do need to spend time together. I’m not sure how much you remember, but there are some things you need to know."

  At his brittle tone, trepidation nudged her. "That doesn’t sound like anything positive."

  "It isn’t a happy subject."

  "Oh."

  The muscles in his throat worked, and he seemed to be swallowing something lodged in his throat. "We need to talk about how you arrived here and why."

  Her stomach dropped. She was afraid she knew where this was going. "How exactly am I here?" After hesitating for a moment, she forced herself to go on. "I died. So why am I here? Or for that matter, how was I even on Earth, alive? Fae cannot raise the dead any more than humans can."

  "No, we cannot." A sad smile spread over his face. "But we can manipulate the portal between here and Earth. I used it to bring you here."

  She frowned. "But you can only manipulate it the first time when establishing contact. You already have a link, so you shouldn’t be able to establish a backward flow of time."

  "I couldn’t." When she opened her mouth, he laid a finger over her lips. "But Aiya hadn’t ever visited Earth. Until some thirty years ago. She established the link we needed so we’d be able to get the spellwork to locate you at the right time."

  Natalie drew back, concern tugging at her so much that she almost missed the talk of some freaky spell locating her. "Aiya was too young. She couldn’t have established the link, let alone go by herself."

  "She was young but still competent enough to establish a mere link, or so the committee insisted. I wasn’t happy with their stipulation that she be the one to go. I’m sure they were hoping that would force me to back out. Neither the older children nor I could go, as we already had links and could not go backward in time. Someone, however, did have to go with her, one who could also go back in Earth’s time."

  "Who would volunteer and link themselves to a time and place not of their choosing?"

  "One of my youngest sisters, Annaka." A grin lifted one corner of his mouth. "After me, she was next in line to be a rebel, it seems. Fortunately, Annaka was a junior member of the committee at that time, and they couldn’t find a satisfactory reason to deny her. Along with her committee privileges came the ability to deactivate her old link and take up the one Aiya would establish."

  Natalie struggled to understand the whole idea of links, portals, and spellwork and how they all worked together. "Why couldn’t your sister just go by herself, then?"

  "Normally, she could have but for the extenuating circumstances. To ensure you would be brought back and your memories restored, the bulk of the committee insisted that one of your blood relatives was needed to amplify and release the locator spell, which was the precursor to the rest of the spells to be used."

  His mouth set into grim lines. "They also said that the future spellwork required to bring you here and implant the memories required a strong link that was better performed by a blood relative. In essence, like blood calls to like. It was a second layer built into the link, which is already based on blood since forming any link entails the use of a drop of the traveler’s blood. While the committee’s words were true, there would’ve been other options, but they weren’t open to any."

  Natalie liked this committee less and less. His sister sounded like the only decent member on it. "What a bunch of inflexible jerks. Well, with the exception of your sister."

  He nodded. "She’s one of the few good ones." Shaking his head as if dismissing some thought or remembrance, he gruffly cleared his throat. "Anyway, to get back to Aiya and her link. Even though Annaka and I trained her as much as we could, Aiya’s extreme youth and inexperience still caused her to go back to a time before you were born. Hence, the waiting for forty years — you had to be of the same age you were when first coming to TirAnn."

  "She must’ve been so scared," Natalie said, her voice gruff with emotion. Aiya had been so brave. To know that this family had done so much for her was a humbling experience. How could she walk away from them?

  "Aiya knew the seriousness of the matter, but she thought it a great adventure to undertake with her aunt. Since she was starved for the attention of a mother figure, she took to my sister with astonishing ease. They’re still quite close."

  Jealously sprang up at his words. While the knowledge that Aiya had someone to lavish her affections upon was a comfort, she couldn’t help but feel another had taken her place. Which was an irrational way to feel since she hadn’t made a choice about being Aiya’s mother. But was there really any choice, especially now?

  Her expression must’ve alerted him to her feelings. "Aiya never forgot you. You were always her mother," he said, drawing a finger down her cheek. "And recently, she was a ball of nervous excitement because she had to be the one to access her link, so the memory and transportation spells could find you."

  Natalie closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. After a few moments, she voiced one of her fears. "She acts so reticent around me at times."

  "She fears you’ll leave. We all do, to some extent, though we are determined to keep you." His words slowed, and an incredible sadness clouded his face. "And I think she harbors some guilt over your death."

  She stared at him, surprised. What did he mean by Aiya harboring some guilt over her death? It hadn’t been her fault. Natalie’s remembrance of that time was sketchy, but she was sure Aiya had no part in her death. "Why does Aiya blame herself?"

  "What do you remember of your death?"

  "Not anything."

  His face relaxed. "I much prefer it that way."

  She pushed the rising dread away. "Why? Was it so bad?"

  "It was not pleasant." He gazed at her searchingly and took her hand in his.

  She nodded for him to continue. If she was ever going to build a life here, she couldn’t be afraid of the past sneaking up whenever she least expected it.

  He blew out a deep breath. "You took a knife through the heart, and Aiya was there."

  The blood drained from Natalie’s face. That detail painted a vivid yet gory picture, so she turned her focus to Aiya. "Was she hurt?"

  "No, just traumatized. She’d been the one who wanted to go flower picking in the forest. You didn’t take your guards with you, but then, you probably thought you had nothing to fear. Normally, you would’ve been correct but for the poacher in the forest."

  He stared down at their clasped hands while he rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. "You and Aiya walked too close to his traps. He wasn’t in his right mind. You ensured Aiya got away safely but paid for it with your life."

  Shivers stole up and down her spine. To hear of one’s death, even in a previous life, was horribly unsettling. Maybe it was a blessing she didn’t remember it.

  And what Aiya must’ve gone through… "The poor child. She made it out of the forest without trouble?"

  "It used to be one of her favorite places — though she now refuses to set foot the
re — so she had no trouble finding her way home, even in her hysteria."

  "The poacher — he was caught?" The idea he might still be out there was enough to make her want to hole up in the manor and never leave.

  He shook his head. "Killed." His voice deepened to a gravelly note. "He attacked the guards when we came to retrieve you. His mind was too far gone to allow anything else. When a fae becomes insane, death is often the kindest mercy, given the nature of our long lives."

  Natalie sensed there was more to the tale than Lorh said, but both of them needed to leave the horrific event behind. Even now, his body was coiled tightly, as if he were about to spring up and grab a sword to slay the monsters of the past.

  "Has Aiya received counseling of any kind?" Though TirAnn didn’t have social workers and psychologists, many of their healers trained in matters of the mind.

  "She has. Lurin largely saw to her care, and she still has the opportunity to see him as needed. He’s an excellent mind healer and has helped her tremendously. Her nightmares and guilt are much lessened."

  Guilt savaged her. Aiya would always bear the marks of her death. No child should have to be burdened with that. "She should’ve never seen what she did. I can’t help but feel responsible, though I know that’s ridiculous."

  Lorh placed firm hands on her arms. "No, I won’t have you distancing yourself because of this. Aiya did the same thing. And as with her, it was in no way your fault. Can’t you see that this event nearly broke us in every way? Especially Aiya and me?"

  He swallowed convulsively. "With our bond, I knew right away something was wrong. As the terror I sensed from you turned to pain, I…I ripped through the manor, looking for you. Then I felt our bond disappear, and I knew. I knew. Once Aiya returned, I was the first to see your body after —" He swallowed again, and his eyes glistened too brightly for it to be anything but a film of tears.

  With a few blinks, he gathered himself, and the determination that’d driven him for so long shone proudly on his face. "But we continued on and found hope. Every day became a little easier to live. That was our life until you arrived, and none of it was in vain."

  An awestruck feeling for this male overtook her, and she wiped away a few tears of her own. Was he real? And how had she gone from furious to wanting to…what? Declare her love? At the moment, it felt like it.

  Any fight within her about her choice disappeared. She’d practically made herself sick by fighting her desires, but no longer. Natalie couldn’t sink back into denial, not when he held her. Not when all pretenses had been torn away from them. She’d been telling herself that if she remained, it’d be as much for the children as for him. But she’d been fooling herself. Even if there weren’t children, she’d stay for him.

  "Your words — they’ve helped me see what you all mean to me. And I think I —"

  He laid a finger on her lips. "Don’t say anything you might regret. Emotions are volatile right now. You don’t have to make a commitment either way until next week."

  Disappointment niggled, but he was right. Even though she was positive she had the right answer, deciding one way or another shouldn’t be a spur-of-the-moment thing. "I know. It’s just hard. I felt as if I’d come to a decision and couldn’t keep it inside."

  "I understand. It’s something I’ve fought against myself since you’ve been here."

  The calm and ever-in-control Lorh had trouble waiting? He’d waited decades, yet three weeks made him impatient? "You have?"

  He quirked a brow. "You sound disbelieving."

  "Well, you’d waited so long already, so three weeks can’t seem like much."

  "It’s an eternity wrapped up in a minute. Fae don’t have the same perception of time as humans, but once you were here, I wanted you with the fervor of the most impetuous human."

  She stifled a giggle at that last part. He’d apparently never met a truly impatient human before, then. Even if he’d felt like one, his actions hadn’t reflected that, with all his talk of not disclosing anything before its time. "I sure couldn’t tell. I mean, I know you wanted me, but the impatient part wasn’t so clear."

  "Maybe not to you, but to most anyone of fae background, it would’ve been. In a display of rashness, I sent the children to you one by one, hoping their presence would stir some remembrance. Though I knew it was too soon and pushing too rapidly wasn’t good, I still did it."

  "So all that talk about it not being time actually had a reason?"

  He nodded. "The mind is a fragile thing. Reintegrating memories is no easy task. Since you have not truly lived the events from your past life in your present one, it made for an even more delicate undertaking. "

  She felt her eyes glaze over. "Uh, okay. That makes my head hurt just thinking about it."

  "Don’t think too hard upon it. Your mind is still recovering, and you shouldn’t stress it. You already fainted twice from the overload."

  Eyeing him suspiciously, she couldn’t tell if he was teasing her or not. His serious face told her nothing. "I think most women in my place would’ve."

  "Indeed." A dark look entered his eyes. "In fact, we’re lucky nothing more than that happened."

  That familiar rush of dread hit her again. "Why do you say that?"

  A growl rumbled in his throat. "The committee butchered the memory spell vial on purpose, it seems."

  "What?"

  Quickly, Lorh told her a condensed version of the committee’s treachery.

  "Wow, that’s despicable. I really hate most of those guys."

  "It’s a mutual feeling."

  Wanting to relieve that fierce frown from his face, she changed the subject. "Still, I can’t get over how you all went through so much to make sure I’d have another chance at life here."

  "We’d do it again." He sent her a chastising look and tapped her on the nose. "But we better not have to."

  "No worries there. I don’t plan on dying anytime soon."

  He rested his forehead against hers. "Glad to hear that."

  After that, a heated silence sprang up between them. He raised his head and let his lips brush over her cheek before meandering down to her mouth. As he claimed his kiss, she poured her heart and soul into returning the gesture.

  How had she ever lived without this?

  14

  Natalie strolled toward Lorh’s study. The beautiful, sunny day spilled in through the open windows. It rivaled her good mood. Life was so lovely right now.

  Her grin grew larger. Tomorrow would mark the end of her three weeks, and she knew exactly what her response would be. A big yes, I’ll stay and be the best wife and mother I can.

  Voices floated out of Lorh’s study, and she faltered. He hadn’t mentioned company. She knew it was none of the children because not only were they all accounted for, but the voices in the study were decidedly adult.

  She crept toward the slightly ajar door. Should she knock or just leave? Or listen in? No, that wouldn’t be right but… Wait, did she just hear her name mentioned?

  Though she knew it was wrong and she could get caught, curiosity made the decision for her. She pressed her ear closer to the wood. The old adage about hearing nothing good about oneself when eavesdropping came flying back. Well, she’d have to take that chance.

  "So she’s really back," a prissy feminine voice said.

  "Mother, she has a name, and it’s Natalie," Lorh replied. "Please call her by that or leave."

  Apprehension pooled in Natalie’s belly. His mother was here? In his study? That also probably meant his father was there too. Though she only held vague recollections of the two, the impression they’d left weren’t good ones. It’d probably been a blessing she hadn’t remembered them right away

  The woman released an airy laugh. "I didn’t mean any offense."

  He snorted. "I’m not so sure about that."

  Surprise rippled through Natalie that Lorh would talk so to his mother. She knew he and his parents had their differences, but she’d always thought Lorh woul
d be very cordial to his parents and the other family members with whom he didn’t agree. Apparently, her past memories still left a lot to be remembered.

  His mother gave another tinkling laugh. "You’re such a tease at times."

  Lorh gave a scoff. "I wasn’t —"

  "Mind your manners toward your mother," a masculine voice said.

  Lorh’s father? She was sure it was. Great, oh, great. And she was standing like an interloper outside the door.

  "Sorry, Mother," Lorh said stiffly. "Natalie will be coming soon. I ask that you…be nice to her."

  "Of course, you’ve just got her back. What kind of monster do you think I am?"

  "Well, you’re for complete human servitude and enslavement if you can get it passed."

  His mother clucked her tongue. "Lorh, that was a while ago, before you gave us beautiful half-human grandchildren. Do you think we’d do anything to hurt them?"

  He didn’t answer her question. "Natalie’s mind is in a delicate place, and I ask that you don’t bring up the past in detail."

  "Oh, the poor thing doesn’t remember a thing yet? And your time is about up, isn’t it?"

  "Mother, just please do as I ask," Lorh said in a strained voice, again ignoring his mother’s query.

  Natalie frowned. What was going on? She did remember quite a bit, so why was he leading his parents to believe she didn’t? Knowing Lorh, she knew he must have his reasons. For now, she’d play along. Well, that was if she didn’t hightail it out of there and barricade herself in her chamber.

  Giving an inner sigh, she straightened her shoulders. She couldn’t run away from his parents’ disapproval forever. Why not face it now and get it over with? As before, they’d have to make peace with the fact that she was in their son’s life — and there to stay.

  With a slightly shaking hand, she knocked on the door.

  "Come in," Lorh said.